How DARE The Final Season of ‘Curb’ Curse Us With One Of The Worst Earworms Imaginable

Hey, Curb Your Enthusiasm. Stop it. You know what you’re doing, and it’s not cool, pal.

The final season of HBO’s beloved comedy premiered earlier this month, and the first four episodes have been predictably terrific. I loved Seinfeld; I’ve watched every episode of Curb; and I’m a tremendous admirer of Larry David’s writing. Having said that… there’s one running subplot that’s both hilarious and maddening: The J.G. Wentworth earworm.

Anyone who’s watched daytime TV over the past 20 years is familiar with the diabolical catchiness of the J.G. Wentworth jingle. The seemingly ubiquitous ditty has haunted many a mind over the last two decades, worming its way into countless ears with an oblivious gusto best described as “big 1992 Steve Urkel energy.” The award-winning ad campaign had already slithered its way into the zeitgeist before becoming a recurring bit on the latest season of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

The first episode of the season brilliantly reestablishes Larry’s ongoing reluctant romance with recovering alcoholic Irma Kostroski (the inimitable Tracey Ullman) by having Irma belt out the familiar J.G. Wentworth commercial jingle, much to the chagrin of Larry.

Is this a pitch-perfect character trait? Yes. 100%. Is it also going to make me lose my freaking mind? Maybe.

For many of us, Curb is our Sunday night “go to sleep” show, the last thing we watch before we’re forced to deal with the morass of Monday morning madness. So imagine my surprise when the irritatingly catchy jingle returned during last night’s installment (aptly titled “Disgruntled”).

Oh, how did I sleep, you ask? Not great, Bob!

My dreams may have been haunted by a chilling mix of operatic Viking iconography and poor financial health, but I’m not going to let my grogginess prevent me from stating the obvious: Tracey Ullman is an absolute treasure as Irma Kostroski. Also, I should note that this isn’t the first time a Larry David project explored the perplexing world of earworms. George famously couldn’t get the Les Miserables song “Master of the House” out of his head during an early episode of Seinfeld.

It’s been about 14 hours since I watched the newest episode of Curb. “Call J.G. Wentworth 877-Cash-Now” was in my head when I went to sleep, when I woke up, and when my wife told me I had to pick up… something from… somewhere. I don’t remember. I can no longer retain any information that doesn’t musically pertain to having a structured settlement and needing cash NOW.

But you know what? It could be worse, a lot worse. I don’t love having a commercial jingle dominate my idle thoughts, but J.G. Wentworth having a 24/7 dance party in my brain is a whole lot better than a certain daytime TV riff I dare not mention. I’m afraid that if I even so much as type the name of the infamous jingle, a quintet of pint-sized lounge musicians will conjure in my mind to wreak havoc on whatever’s left of my mental well-being like a melodically devious Beetlejuice.

Ruin my Wordle if you must, but please, I bet of you, spare my sanity and stop singing the J.G. Wentworth jingle.

New episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm air Sunday nights at 10:00 p.m. ET on HBO and Max. The History of Curb Your Enthusiasm podcast is now available across all podcast platforms.